I haven’t been around much lately. It’s a little on purpose. I’m in the dissertation home stretch, with my final deadlines fast approaching. My defense is scheduled, just over a month away. Writing that, I get a little tightness in my chest.
I am not always sure I can do this. It seems impossible. And yet here I am, in the last chapter and writing for my life. There is something inexorable about it. I must keep going. I do. Sometimes it feels like all I do.
But I have also become extremely protective of my time and attention. I can only spend my words so many places because behind my words are my thoughts, and I need those thoughts to flow in one main channel these days. I’m burrowing away. I don’t know what’s happening on television. I occasionally send tweets from my phone, but I haven’t opened twitter in days. I’m not running much because I feel like I need all my energy for my work.
All this is mainly because I wanted to check in, to let you all know where I am and where I’m going. I miss you and have so many things I want to tell you about, so many ideas, so many thoughts twisting and bubbling in the background. I just need to do this one thing first.