I’ve had three mandarin oranges this morning. They came in my vegetable delivery from a local farm, and they all look so squashy. My eyes want to see oranges from 1950s magazine ads, shiny and perfectly round, but these are puckery. If my eyes had their way I’d toss these oranges out, but I haven’t. Instead I’m feeling this orange to see if it’s soft, or too soft, or not soft enough, and it seems like that’s the way everything is lately. I pick things up one orange at a time. Everything is deliberate in my fingers, which have always felt so long and not quite right, but which are fine for feeling oranges. I’m not wearing any rings. That’s ok for feeling oranges too.
Abby has this Wednesday blog series called Dress for the Day, about letting your clothes do some of the work in carrying you to your best possible day. It’s lovely. Two Wednesdays ago I watched tweets roll through my phone with the hashtag and I looked at my pink owl pajama pants and oversized sweatshirt, and the fingernails caked in dirt from sanding. It was cold outside and I was painting and crying because it had been a day with hard conversations and snot dropped into the gravel next to my old, worn out running shoes. I imagined how I would write a Dress for the Day post, or even a tweet or a picture, and I cried harder. I felt so cold, so alone and outside. Last Wednesday I didn’t want to get out of my yoga pants or bed even, so I did the next best thing and put on leggings and a cotton dress and all my layers at the same time. Then I cried my way through more hard conversations, and conversations about hard conversations, and when it became dark I drove home from work and got into bed again. I’m not sure I changed my clothes first. Tomorrow I will wear I don’t know what. My laundry mutely begs to be done and I have important adult meetings and adult things to do. But the sun rises every day and the world has warmed up and I believe I’ll face those things with a smile. We’ll see. I guess I’m taking things Wednesday by Wednesday. I will feel my way, bit by bit, instead of telling myself all about it beforehand.
I’ve eaten all three oranges. It turns out all three of them were ok. Not because I like pat metaphors. Just because that’s the way the true story happened.
I’m just writing this week with Heather, one of my always favorites. You can find more just writers here.
the beauty of a metaphor you just let happen is that you don’t know if you’re the orange or the rain or the snot-drenched wood being sanded into something beautiful. i got so bright-eyed happy when i found my name here, and i love your take on my mini-mission. tomorrow, put on love and grace and something that means business. then add a surprise. you are lovely, friend.
Thanks for your sweetness, lady. :) Amber Haines said something this week about how metaphors are part of our makeup and the way we view the world around us (all Augustine-style), and I am inclined to agree. (Also with the commenter below.)
xx
This was superb. I’m stopping by from Heather’s Just Write and had to tell you that.
Kathi
Thank you, Kathi! I appreciate your kind words.
I think you should “just write” more often. this is astonishing. you write like a dream and i really enjoy reading it. thank you for sharing.
Aww, thanks, Eric. :) You are so encouraging. I love just writing. It’s such a challenge, but it can be really rewarding–and freeing. When are you going to join in??
I imagine we see metaphors when we’re ruminating — whether we want to or not — about the substance underneath them. Those moments usually tell me that what I’m feeling is worth honoring.
Glad to have found you here. (Visiting from Just Write.)
I think you’re right about the metaphors. Metaphors are the way we make sense of the world around us, of things we can’t quite grasp on their own. I like what you say about recognizing that the feeling connected to the metaphor is worth honoring.
Thanks so much for coming by. :)
Hi Sharone, I hadn’t visited your blog in a little while, but I’m glad I came back. This was beautiful and sad and touching. I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for a Liebster Award over on my blog: http://purpleclosetbeauty.blogspot.com/2013/01/sharing-is-caring.html
I hope you have some lesser known blogs that you would like to share as well.
[...] promptings of my heart, even when they seem scary. When what I want to just write about turns into confessions about dripping snot and not wanting to get out of bed, I’m going to publish it anyway. When an opportunity to attend that conference I’ve [...]
[...] just writing this week because zizzyvizzy did last week and it was beautiful. Heather is the genius behind this concept, and now my friend on the twitters. [...]